“Midlife: when the Universe grabs your shoulders and tells you “I’m not f-ing around, use the gifts you were given.” – Dr. Brene Brown
First, I am NOT talking about “midlife crisis” nor am I assigning an age to “middle life” for the purposes of this article. So, how do we define “midlife”? I’m going to lean hard into one of my favorite author/researcher/educators, Brene Brown, by sharing the ultimate quote from her on this topic:
“Midlife: when the Universe grabs your shoulders and tells you “I’m not f-ing around, use the gifts you were given.” – Dr. Brene Brown
Based on that definition, this awakening could happen in your 30s, 40s, 50s, or – if you aren’t listening to the Universe – perhaps never. What a shame that would be. I say that based on my own journey.
As I approached turning 50, I found myself faced with a potentially life-changing decision. My corporate role had been eliminated. After 25 years climbing a well-planned corporate ladder, rarely taking vacations or time off for maternity leave – or even the death of my son – and eventually peaking as an SVP in one of the world’s largest banks, I suddenly had no path or plan. The one thing I knew for sure was I wanted to keep working, growing, learning.
My first instinct was to simply jump back into what I knew, and where I was confident, I could be successful. But then a little voice in my head, a voice which grew stronger and louder every day, asked and eventually demanded to know why I wasn’t pursuing my dream.
The core question was this: Why do I want to go back to working under someone else’s rules?
I realized I wasn’t interested in pursuing the next big title or promotion. The politics of an office environment no longer sparked my internal fire. Work was no longer my #1 priority. But, more than that, I was now motivated to do work that truly benefited other people and held a meaning that resonated with my personal “true north” (which is why my company is named True North).
After crunching the numbers, my husband and I agreed it was time for me to take a leap and invest in myself, my experience, network, and my energy. I set some firm boundaries – like “no work Friday afternoons!” – created and stuck to a firm budget and got to work.
While people still get nervous when I explain what I do – I’m a self-employed executive coach – I’ve never felt more productive, fulfilled, or joyful about my work. My job gives me the freedom to set my own schedule, to continue to learn, grow, sharpen my skills, and meet new people every single day.
My guidance to anyone who is getting that firm shoulder shake from the Universe are as follows:
Trust your instincts – Think about the work you find fulfilling, the hobbies and volunteer work you enjoy, and the types of jobs you admire or envy.
Lean on your skills and expertise – Given your years of professional experience, chances are you don’t have to go out and pursue another degree unless that aligns with your passions.
Be realistic – Have a savings cushion, set a budget, and prepare for a few stumbles or moments of self-doubt. This is where a career coach can prove to be incredibly valuable.
Gain buy-in – Remember this change or career downshift doesn’t just impact you, but your entire household so it’s important to get them on board.
Learn and grow – This is the fun part because you’re investing in yourself!
Note: Brene Brown writes about the “midlife awakening and unraveling” in the majority of her books, but you will find the most in-depth discussion in The Gifts of Imperfection.
