The next few weeks are packed with various flavors of grief milestones in my personal life – the death of my sister, the birthday of my son who tragically passed away two years later, the official bleak diagnosis of my Multiple Sclerosis, the end of summer and my 12-year-old returning to middle school. To honor, acknowledge, and process the impact of these lifelong mile-markers, I lean into it via reflection, observation, and introspection.
Quick sidebar before I go further. I do need to clarify the difference between grief and bereavement. Because, while they are sometimes used interchangeably, they are different. At their simplest form, bereavement (also referred to as mourning) follows the death of someone significant in your life. Grief, is a broader term, encompassing loss – which includes the loss of a loved one, but also of a marriage, job, identity, and more.
This year, as I’ve paused and reflected, what’s surfaced time and time again is not the sadness. The gravity. The weight of grief.
It is the hope. The motivation. The internal fight to do and be better. To live a life that improves this world. To emulate the characteristics I respect and honor in everyone I love – both those who are gone, and those who stand tall on this earth every day.
Recently, I heard something that took my breath away in its beautiful simplicity:
Grief is an emotion, knocking on the door of memory, encouraging you to recall, relive, and love.
Yes. Yes!
This perspective transforms lifelong grief from something daunting and painfully unbearable into an almost celebratory gift. A gratitude practice vs. a boulder to push up the hill every single day.
I share this for those who might be coping with a recent job displacement. Or perhaps you dropped your kid off at college and are now an empty nester. You might be a working parent fighting to get back into the schoolyear routine, wondering where the summer calm went and how did time pass so quickly. You might be struggling to define and articulate what exactly you’re feeling. You might be thinking, “Why is this so hard?”
It’s because you are grieving.
Name it. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones. Talk about it! And remember that grief is an invitation for you to recall and remember with love in your heart
