Self-compassion is about focusing on strengths, bouncing back after a mistake, and owning your accomplishments. It is about focusing on the facts, setting realistic expectations, projecting confidence, and celebrating the wins.
Why is “self-compassion” even included on this 360 assessment?
This question came from a client who, across the board, scored herself shockingly low on every measure within the assessment. Her self-compassion was notably the lowest score.
Not surprisingly her overall results reflected that, while she is terrific at her job, gets results, and is a terrific relationship-builder, she is also impossible to please.
In addition, multiple raters commented about her perceived lack of confidence in front of senior leadership.
This is precisely why self-compassion is, in my opinion, one of the most underrated leadership skills.
When you can’t show yourself kindness, care, and grace, how can you be expected to offer it to anyone else?
Of course you are viewed as someone who sets unrealistic standards for others – because you are modeling that behavior towards yourself.
Of course you suffer from “imposter syndrome” when entering a room full or senior leaders who people who, in your own self-critical view, might be smarter than you. But do the facts support that view?
Self-compassion is not about bragging, or self-importance. It’s about being truthful with yourself about the facts presented. It’s about taking ownership for your accomplishments and celebrating them, along with the important milestones for you and your team.
Remember that your team is watching your behavior. They see you – and assume (right or wrong) the way you treat yourself is also the way you treat others.
Leaders who model self-compassion are also leaders who are seen as authentic, empowering coaches. They project confidence while treating themselves and others with respect.
The next time you refuse a compliment or find yourself deflecting or rejecting a positive acknowledgement of your work and behaviors, STOP. Simply pause and accept it. Celebrate the wins. Your head, heart, and teams will notice!
