Sometimes the look on your face, or tone of your voice, can change the mood of entire meeting. How aware are you of your facial expressions, and the vibe you give in meetings or group discussions?
This headline is a mantra I repeat to myself every day. In general, I approach life with a blend of humor and logic – which often makes me a frustratingly practical person. And, at times, an overly serious person, even when it’s not required.
Note, I said serious, but not humorless. What’s the difference? Can you be both at the same time?
By its actual definition, seriousness is lacking expression of happiness, grave and thoughtful in manner, and earnestness. Somewhat related, but different is the adjective humorless, which is truly lacking humor and levity. Given the core definitions, it sounds pretty grim to be humorless.
It’s important to remember that not all situations call for humor, it’s also true that not all situations are helped by an overly seriously approach or attitude. Think about any recent discussion where you walked away feeling unsatisfied and reflect on the tone or expressions in the room (even virtual rooms). Chances are, at least one person wore a stern “serious” face which changed the mood of the entire group. Remember the saying, “People can hear a smile through the phone”? Well, people can feel a frown like a dark, heavy storm cloud.
Are you ever the person who fails to crack a smile? I know I am, and it’s totally unintentional.
What do you do about it?
First and foremost, be aware. Not just of your expression, but WHY. In many cases, you might just be “heads down” in the discussion or issue. So, look up! Get engaged.
Also, make an effort to remind yourself that you can only control what you can control. I know that sounds redundant, but the bottom line is this: We often have an elevated opinion of our own sphere of influence. Let go of that notion. Trust me, it’s liberating.
Finally, never fail to find humor in a situation. If you don’t, chances are the universe will do it for you. I’ll share a story from this morning that highlights this point. In the middle frantically of trying to manage two conflicting client bookings today, while also talking to a friend on the phone, and trying to pick up dog poop from our yard – all at the same time – the poop bag broke.
Gross. And hilarious, since both my dogs got super excited and started dancing around me in sheer bliss. It was the tap on my shoulder I needed. A moment that reminded me that, as much as I wanted to control everything, I needed to simply focus on one thing at a time.
So, stop taking yourself so seriously and find something to laugh at today.
