What is today’s newsletter? It’s a discussion about sense of purpose. Belonging. Connections. Where and how we need it, find it – and when we might feel most disconnected or isolated.
I’ve been struggling with the question of “where to start” on today’s newsletter, since it has the potential to veer off track. So, I will start with what this topic is NOT about. This is not a discussion about the ongoing WFH (work from home) debate, and how companies across the globe are choosing to handle (or mishandle) questions surrounding how, where and when their employees work.
What is today’s newsletter? It IS a discussion about sense of purpose. Belonging. Connections. Where and how we need it, find it – and when we might feel most disconnected or isolated.
What spurred today’s topic? Malcolm Gladwell’s trending comments during an interview with the New York Post where he stated, “It is very hard to feel necessary when you feel disconnected.” If he had simply stopped with that statement, this newsletter wouldn’t be necessary. Unfortunately, many of his subsequent statements (“…if you’re just sitting in your pajamas in your bedroom, is that the work life you want to live?” and “Don’t you want to feel a part of something?”) wound up coming across as tone-deaf, and his interview was quickly labeled as a harsh rebuke against WFH, rather than zeroing in on the core message at the beginning of the interview – belonging. What is it, how do you define it, and why is it meaningful not just in work but in life.
After reading the actual interview, and the immediate backlash responses, I took a step back and examined my own journey of belonging and isolation – in life, and in work. And when I finally crossed the bridge out of isolation, to belonging and into purpose.
I understand the perspective of some, like Gladwell, who might need the guardrails of an office, or other construct, to feel tethered to a sense of “something” larger than themselves. Many people do thrive in a one-way street of connection and belonging. However, others, like me, wilt under that crush. In the race to maintain pace with others with no pit stops or exit ramps, I had one narrow, singular focus. Work.
What got lost along the way? Me. My family, hobbies, interests, fun. Mental and physical health. Journaling. Photography. Membership in meaningful professional networking groups and ongoing education.
I was surrounded by people, noise, endless activity, impromptu drive-by meetings, draining energy. But I had never felt or been more unproductive or isolated.
It was only when the concept of choice and freedom entered my equation that the tide dramatically turned. The surprise of a corporate exit package was a gift I willingly accepted and never looked back. I still maintain my corporate schedule and rigorous work ethic. But I now run my own executive coaching business with a goal to help others turn the burnout tide in their own lives, before the demons consume them in a haze of failed marriages, dreams forsaken, poor health, and a strong list of “what if” questions.
What else do I do these days? I’m teaching myself and my son how to cook. I run two miles every morning and mediate for at least 20 minutes as the sun is rising. I advocate for grieving families via the SUDC Foundation, in memory of my son who passed away in 2011. I’m an active member of a 12-step program, and a regular service member and speaker on their behalf. I went back and formally obtained several professional designations and have either formed or joined weekly networking consortiums with an international cadre of fellow coaches. One of my true joys recently has been reconnecting with many of my former colleagues, from this new joy-filled perspective.
Like I stated from the start, this article is NOT about WFH. It is about belonging. Because it is only through discovering your own path of belonging that you will find your sense of purpose and fulfillment.
If you ask yourself only one question today, please let it be this: how do you define, create, and protect “connection” in your life?
